4 Ways to Forgiveness
There is an old saying that goes, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” To forgive someone who has hurt you or wronged you isn’t an easy task, and can take time to practice. Forgiveness, while it can be more difficult for some than others, is a necessary obstacle to overcome in life in the persistence of growing and becoming a healthier
human being. Here are 4 proven strategies to help guide you on the path of forgiveness.
Find Compassion
Sit down and think about what the person that did the hurting, but don’t focus on that. Think about the person’s circumstances that had led them to that decision to hurt you. Maybe they are really hurting from their past and have not quite faced it in a healthy way. There may be a completely different story than what you know, that would explain their behavior, but they’ve
never felt safe to express it. Just gently forgive them, and find the compassion to send to them for what they are going through.
Find the Silver-Lining
No matter the situation, there is always a way to find the silver lining to any of life’s obstacles. Try to find the positive in the situation with the person you are trying to forgive. If you don’t immediately find it, don’t fret. Maybe take a few months down the road, and look back on it from there. It may sound cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Six months into the future may hold a completely different situation, and you may look back and be grateful for that situation because it led you to where you are now.
Express Your Feelings
You may not feel the need to keep in contact with the person you are trying to forgive, but it’s still important to express yourself. This means if you want to write an angry letter to that person (but never sending it) or creating a work of art like painting, it will do great things for your process of forgiveness and health. It’s not good for you to hold this feeling inside, and your healthiest option to release it is to express it through art, music, or writing. Maybe pick up a new journal on your next trip to the store, and store jotting out your thoughts on the matter to get it out and on paper.
Give Yourself Permission to Move On
Sometimes we can confuse forgiveness with keeping the door open for the person to keep taking advantage of us over and over again. It can be the most difficult thing for a person to do in the forgiveness process, but sometimes the healthiest thing for ourselves is to just walk away altogether. The adjustment of losing this person’s space in our lives can be hard at first, but like we said, “Time heals all wounds.” You just need to give yourself permission to go on living your life, without feeling guilty that you cut the person who no longer serves you or your life in a positive way.
You should be very proud of yourself that you are trying to do what’s best for you, and use the power of forgiveness. Taking these first steps is so important for your journey of forgiving and growing into a more healthy and happier version of yourself. If you are still struggling, don’t forget you can always turn to professional help that can steer you in the right direction.
