5 things a dad needs to do for his daughter

1. She needs you to be involved and care

As a father you need to be present, involved and interested in her life. Do more than just ask about her day. If she’s obsessed with soccer then help her practice by kicking the ball around. Does she love watching a certain TV show? Watch an episode with her and discuss it after. If she loves cooking then be her assistant. My daughter loves reptiles, so I had to learn to love them too. After her many self-created books, posters and paintings about reptiles never did come to an end, I knew this wasn’t a fad for her but rather a passion. I found a local, exotic pet shop and took her to buy her very own gecko. Me taking an interest in something she loves deepened our father-daughter connection and allowed me to get out of my own head and see the world from her perspective.

2. She needs to trust you

It is critically important to establish that trust with your daughter so that when she’s sad she’ll confide in you and when something’s up she’ll let you know. It might take some time to build but I believe it’s one of the most important parts of any father-daughter relationship. You can start by keeping your word for promises you make to her as well as keeping her secrets to yourself.

3. She needs you to show her your love

You’ve must show your daughter unconditional love. That means loving her no matter what and on her good days and on her bad days equally. She needs to know that even if she messes up that you’ll always be there. Don’t tease her and ridicule her when she makes a mistake. Be the one that picks her up, dusts her off and stands her back on her feet. I love knowing that if something hasn’t gone to plan that my daughter will come to me as a soft and safe place to just be loved regardless.

4. She needs your support and belief

Don’t ever tell her that she can’t do something! This will either go two ways — she’ll either believe you and never try OR she’ll do everything in her power to prove you wrong. Both ways leave you feeling terrible. If my daughter told me she was going to become an astronaut and walk on the moon or she was going to play in the WNBA or be voted in as the next president, I would give her my full support and belief. When you daughter hits an age that they doubt themselves, you become their number one fan and you keep cheering for the rest of their life.

5. She needs you to be a role model

You will be the first male role model your daughter has in her life. You’ll also be the first man that she knows intimately. You set the standard for all the men that will enter her life in the future. Maybe you need to take a moment for some self-reflection. Is there anything you need to change for your daughter’s sake? You can’t have double standards when you’re a dad (trust me I know, your daughter is definitely smart enough to call you out). If you expect your daughter to be polite, empathetic, daring, brave and happy — then you’ve got to be all of those things too.

Being a dad isn’t an easy gig, and this list might seem overwhelming. But the truth is as long as you provide love, support and involvement in your daughter’s life, that’s all you can do. You be the rock and your daughter will become the shining star.